The Infection
by Kimmyangel445
Summary: The Infection had spread faster than anyone ever predicted. Rin Kagamine, at fourteen, had been alone, forced to grow up on her own and now she's nineteen she has a better understanding on how to survive. That is until she finds Luka. They have to get to the others, however long it takes, but what if old feelings arise? Will Rin be able to handle it?
1. Chapter 1

**_Hey people of the amazing world! I decided to do a Vocaloid romance zombie apocalypse themed story this time round! This is going to be a yuri, definitely without a doubt, but this is my first time writing something like this though so I hope it's good! Also, I decided to write something different before the first day of school *sigh* but I hope it's good for the first chapter!_**

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It always has to be in the summer when this kind of thing happens. Doesn't it? It's not ironic, it's not even surprising, not in the slightest bit after all every book or movie seems to base off the fact that the world always ends in the summer. I sigh out gently, causing the air to stir a long thick piece of my hair that flutters out then in to touch my lips with the breath that slipped out and I looked up focusing on the red sky. Things couldn't have gone more to hell than the day everything just decided to just slam down and curse the humans and, yes, even us Vocaloids were affected. Many of us had fallen to the end, to the Infection that spread rapidly.

I let my lashes droop slightly as I listened to the creaking of the rusted pipes underneath the tiled floor of the kitchen, where I sat, my knees hugged to my chest with my eyes on the window. I can here them outside, moaning and groaning, sometimes even screaming at nothing and I just hug my needs closer to me as tight as possible, as though it'd keep them from finding me. It's kind of sad. I spent my fourteen year old life singing, pouting, screaming at others, being spoiled as hell and ordering around my brothers and those around me.

I still remember Kaito sitting on the couch eating his ice cream with Miku nibbling on her leeks and I sat peeling an orange while Len just ate his banana while laying on his stomach swinging his feet up and down while we watched the news. I remember the increase of reports about a new Infection, a disease that was hitting towns and countries faster than even the plague, than that whole Zika virus thing. It was serious and though it was to be controlled, it didn't work.

I wished I'd listened better, paid better attention when Meiko, leaning against the couch while holding Kaito's hand tight and Gakupo crossed his arms tight against his chest, had said that we needed a plan. I didn't listen and now I was alone. I was now nineteen years old. Five years since the Infection spread, five years since there was human contact, five years since I've seen any other Vocaloids out here in the vast place. I feel like I'm the only one left but I know there was a plan, I just needed to remember it but I couldn't. I heard a scream from upstairs making my blood run cold and I held my knees tighter whimpering low in my throat as I curled up tight in the corner only to hear dragging foot steps.

"Fuck." I whisper the word under my breath, the tiles cold but comforting underneath me and I stood up, my legs trembling as I reached onto the counter, my fingers grabbing the sledge hammer and I held it in front of me like a swore before bringing it up to my shoulder trembling lightly.

There's no way she could be gone already! It wasn't supposed to be this fast! I clenched my jaw tight as I trembled edging to the door way of the kitchen hesitantly hearing loud thuds then crashing down the stairs violently and I tensed, my eyes widening as I trembled softly. The was a low sound like a door creaking making my muscles tensed tightly as I adjusted my grip on the sledge hammer hearing dragging bare feet on the tiled floor.

For fucks' sake...can't I get a break? Just once? I felt tears build and well in my eyes instantly, as the dragging steps got closer to my spot and just as I heard the moan I swung my sledge hammer down and around the corner hard hearing the sickening crack and spurt of blood making me scream with the force of the blow. I heard a stumble and I stepped out from behind the entry way, gasping loudly in a sharp inhale then lifted the sledge hammer up and down, up and down, up and down. I finally stopped when the body stopped twitching as I panted stumbling back quickly with the hammer dragging along the floor moving blood in a streak and the handle dropped from my hand with a loud bang.

I felt cold, bare and deserted, only for a moment however; I felt the hot tracks my tear made as they ran down my cheeks and off my chin quickly onto my collar bone as I sniffled and I noticed a few splashes of blood on my fingers only to quickly rub them off on the floor, the shakes taking over and I looked at the body. Her long aqua hair was out of it's usual pig tails, it was soaking wet with the blood accumulating around it, she twitched faintly but stopped after five minutes, her skin wasn't porcelain white but a dirty gray color with the veins black and crossing under her skin with the burn of infection; her eyes had died long before and I looked down at the bite mark on her arm, where she'd received it and I felt so much loss.

I could have prevented her from going out, she said she'd be out and back before we knew it, but she came back sick and before I knew it, everyone was gone but her and we'd been one on one. After five years I thought I'd seen it all, but I've never seen anyone-ANYONE- rise after five days, normally it took two weeks for it to come to a completion! I felt bile rising in my throat and before I could help it, I turned and emptied the contents of my stomach, which was just a burning bile that made me shudder. Once I finished I gagged at the scent scrambling to my feet grabbing my sledge hammer, cringing at how slick it felt and I scrambled to the kitchen turning the faucet on, praying the water to work and nearly cried when it did.

I cleaned the dark blood from the sledge hammer then dunked my hands and arms under scrubbing hard until any speck of redness was gone off my arms then I leaned down pressing my mouth to the faucet taking a mouthful, swished it around then spit it out. Then I pressed my wet hand to my mouth as tears gushed down and I sobbed into my hand hard, so hard that I had to move a hand out to hold onto the sink as I sobbed. Miku didn't deserve this. I didn't deserve this. No one deserved this. I just wished I hadn't been the one to deliver death onto the longest friend I've ever known.

I heard loud thumps at the back down making me tense then the shattering of glass and I held my hammer tight before running for the kitchen door throwing it open running out. I didn't have shoes on but that didn't matter, not in the slightest bit, it was easy to ignore the rocks and twigs, the gravel etc etc digging into the soles of my feet as I ran a car, the keys in the ignition. I swear God has never shined down on me so beneficially and so kindly ever before and I dove into the car turning the key happier than ever, when dread poured in through my veins as the engine clicked. I looked up at the staggering bodies only to see one pause and look at me.

"Come on." I twisted the keys again listening to the clicks. "Come on." I kept turning it hard as tears welled anew in my eyes as more of the staggering bodies stopped staring at me, or well, the car. "Come on! Please! _For fucks' sake turn on!"_

I screamed out the words slamming the palms of my hands against the wheel hard in frustration gaining more attention, obviously, before turning the keys again and squealed in happiness, my tears never seeping to stop, even as the engine purred loudly and I revved it just as those staggering bodies of the Infected rushed at me and I sped forward fast slamming into any fortunate body in my way ignoring the crunches and thuds.

I was getting out, finally! I sped as fast as I dare to go as I lifted a hand off the wheel running the tears from my eyes, clearing my vision, then placed it back on the wheel blowing out soft breathes. It never gets easier, never gets less horrific, never gets less adrenaline pumping, never gets less terrifying and never gets less new. It's always a slap in the face when I come out in the world, when I'm not hiding away, that everything's in complete shit but then again I didn't expect anything different from an apocalyptic world after all.

But I couldn't focus on that now, there was only the road stretching out in front of me and the sweet happiness welling inside of me as I sped when there was a vibrating noise. I tensed, wondering if an Infected person was behind me but I looked down seeing a phone that had an unfamiliar number on it. Who could that be? Just as I reached out a hand there was a click and the cold metal of the barrel of a gun being pressed to my temple making me freeze while still maintaining the driving portion of this situation.

"You won't touch that phone if you know what's good for you." A voice hissed the words out making me strain to look back with my eyes as I sat perfectly still. "You'll drive down this road, go to turn on the 1-80 and go down Route 22. But don't go on it fully, you'll pull over. Got it?"

"Yes, perfectly." I sounded breathless as I sped, noticing the 1-80 sign faintly then shivered, feeling tired as all hell but the click of the gun again made me pay attention to the signs.

"Good. Now keep going, I'll be watching and no funny moves. I see that sledge hammer between your legs...though I doubt you'd be able to use it however, you were crying like a little bitch just a moment ago." The voice had dropped to a condescending sneer making me tense up as I glared out the windshield as I drove as fast as I dared.

"Shut the HELL up! I just had to kill my infected friend, only friend now, so don't even TRY me right now bitch!" I shout as we sped down the 1-80 quickly, my anger bubbling and sizzling underneath my skin, through my veins all but beckoning me to reach behind and slam this persons head on the back of my head rest and take the gun from them but I know I wouldn't be fast enough.

"Who the hell do you think you are!" The voice was now shouting back but I could now distinctly place it as a female voice and it sounded... _familiar_. I sat there trying to piece where I'd heard that voice before when she pressed the gun to my temple painfully. "Stop!" I screeched to a stop, one so harsh and sudden that my body swayed forward then thumped back against the seat. I heard the girl shifting forward into the passenger seat but I stared forward. Then I heard a gasp.

"What? Not what ya where expecting?" I ask dryly as I dared turn my head when my own eyes widened.

Long pink hair was pulled back in a long, messy pony tail, dirt and blood marred her perfect pale skin, her body was much to thin but scars marred her arms from what I could see, her full bottom lip was chapped from her picking at it while her top lip-only slightly thinner- sported a cut that was crusted over with dry blood. Her light blue eyes were sunken and tired looking, screaming so many things no person should have in their eyes. But...they were glimmering with tears now as she looked at me, her lips parting with wonder as her pink brows twitched gently, the blazing red 03 on her right ( ** _A/N: It's my right, sorry!_** ) upper arm.

"Rin! Oh my god Rin! Where the ultimate _fuck_ have you been?!" Luka's voice was a whisper as she dropped the gun grabbing my upper arms before checking my right arm looking at my own blazing red 02 there before she hugged me tight.

My breasts pressed to hers making be blush but I threw my arms back around her in response, after all how could I _not_ hug her back? I couldn't speak back, I couldn't force words out, my throat was much to tight and before she could say another thing all the tears, sobs and screams I held in me for five solid years poured out and I screamed, I sobbed, I cried, I shook and spasmed with all these overwhelming emotions and Luka held me tight through all of it. She didn't murmur assurances, she didn't make promises things would be okay like she used too when I'd been crying and hurt, she just held me ever so tightly as her dirty hand moved up and stroked my hair softly as I sobbed loudly.

I didn't want to let her go, I didn't want to wake up and ind that this was all just some sort of cruel dream, that everything was a dream, but as Luka pressed her lips to the top of my head, the way the interior of the car warmed with the slowly rising sun and my skin pressed to the material of the seat and the seatbelt pressing against the front of my body, I knew it wasn't a dream. All that mattered now was that I wasn't alone. I had Luka now, so I wouldn't be alone again. I didn't need to be when I had her. At least..I hope I wouldn't be alone again.


	2. Chapter 2

The road is so damn long, ever lasting and twisting with sharp jerks, hard corners and soft twists. I feel the sun slowly sinking further in the sky, the warmth leaving as I clench my hands tight on the steering wheel with concentration. I felt so so tired, more tired than I ever remember being and I didn't like it. I sighed out fighting back the yawn that wanted out by clenching my jaw tightly and I felt Luka's stare on me and I shifted adding a little more speed as we zoomed down the high way and Luka shifted one of her pale hands towards my thigh before pulling away.

"I can take over for you Rin. You should get some sleep, you look like shit." Luka said the words carelessly but I could hear the concern behind them making me smile just a bit, a mere twitch of the lips.

"It's fine. I'm not that tired that I have to pull over yet." I replied to her easily as though nothing was wrong, it felt like we were just talking about me doing my homework or learning to ride my bike or something. It was ethereal and I feel like a different Rin, from a different time.

"Pull over." Luka's words came as a demand and I sighed out pulling over then put the car in park turning my torso to look at Luka.

"What?" I scowl at her, not wanting to take any shit but she reached over unbuckling my seatbelt and before I could protest her hands were on my hips making me surprised and as I opened my mouth to protest she slithered underneath my body easily as water, then plopped me in the passenger seat and she smirked at me.

"What the hell! I told you I'm fine!" I snap as I clench my hands into tight fists, honestly pissed that she took it upon herself to move me to the passenger seat and I glared while she smirked pleasantly.

"I just know you. You've always been a brat so it's good to see that you're still one and not much has changed." She chuckles out before putting the car in drive and pulling back onto the high way speeding."Plus I know when you're tired, and frankly my dear, you're dead tired. I know you're set to pass out any moment now."

"You don't know that. You-along with the others- have been gone for _five years._ I think it's safe to say that I've changed a shit ton that you all don't know about." I spit the words out like they're shards of glass and knives, glaring at Luka out of the corner of my eye and she sighed out drumming her fingers lightly on the steering wheel while driving.

"I know. You've changed, I get that, but there's no need to be a bitch about it Rin. After all you were sobbing your heart out hours ago, I think it's safe to say you might have the same qualities as before." Luka sounded so confident, so smug, that I wanted to just punch her in the face. Ruin her perfectly good lips for a second time, one of my own doing.

"Shut up." I mumble as I cross my arms turning my hed so my hair fell over my shoulder creating a veil as I stared out the window scowling.

The sky was burning a fierce red and orange, the white clouds standing out beautifully against the burning colors, the rest of the world was either deteriorating, breaking down or just covered in plants while the ground-side walk or road doesn't matter- was breaking apart with cracks. The car bounced lightly with each crack we hit or pot hole, the car was pretty warm and the car was rocking softly making me feel tired and I rested my head forward pressing it to the cool glass. I wanted to know why I find Luka _now_ after I spent five whole years on my own. Five.

I raised my self-half way I guess- discovered my way through puberty in this god forsaken world and I'd never speak of it, never tell anyone, but before Len...disappeared, we'd spent a night alone and we'd been open, so open it was raw, and I'd said that I didn't want to die a virgin and...well one thing lead to another and I'd been naked, underneath him; him above me with one eye closed tight as his teeth clenched but the desire in his open blue eye, the determination to make it good for both of us, had made my heart squeeze with that look.

Len always wanted to make things good and amazing for us, make things okay, but when it was over and we lay panting gently next to each other, skin slicked with sweat and a soft burning between my legs, his hand holding mine tightly with comfort. I'd turned my head looking at him and he looked back at me, looking tired and we'd then shared a smile which turned to giggles, which turned to bright yet slightly unhinged laughter as I held onto Len, he held onto me, and I'd felt happy. Despite the sex, I'd felt happy being with my brother, I know it's sick; I know it's wrong; I know I know I know.

But no one's alive to even care, no one's around to judge what happened that night, besides other Vocaloid's just like us, have delved into taboo incestuous things before. But we'd promised we'd never tell anyone about that night, and I kept my word no matter what, even when Miku asked me. But then Len disappeared. No letter, no text when the cellphones worked still, not even a few words to me about where he was going or what he was going to do. Just disappeared. That, I would think, hurt and pissed me off more than anything in this world. More than being left behind by my "family". More than the world ending.

"So..where's Miku?" Luka finally asks dragging my from my thoughts and I turned my head a bit looking at Luka out of the corner of my eye.

"Dead." I reply flatly then looked forward hearing Luka's hiss of a breath and I leaned back in my seat and tightened my arms across my chest tight, like I wanted to hold myself together.

"What happened to her?" Luka asks this question slower, like she doesn't want to ask but is too curious not to ask me.

"She was..Infected. She'd been getting sick and I killed her just before I found you. I wasn't going to leave her alive like that, it'd be much more cruel than killing her while she was _alive_ alive. " I replied back to her just as flatly as before as I stared out the window and Luka let out a shaky breath and I looked over feeling my chest throb. There was tears slipping down her pale cheeks, dripping off her chin gently onto her collar bone to her thighs as she drove and she rubbed the tears away whenever she was able but more just replaced them.

"I'm..sorry. Rin I'm sorry. I wish you didn't have...have to do that. You're too impressionable, I should've been with you, I should've taken care of Miku, I shou-"

"Just shut up. Okay? I don't want to hear your stupid pity party, just drive to wherever we're going and leave me alone for now." I snap out the words as I twist my body curling up slightly facing the door then moved my crossed arms over my knees.

"Rin.." Luka's voice started hesitantly only to die off and she sighed out rubbing her cheeks which I could hear due to the sound of flesh rubbing on flesh and I closed my eyes. I don't care. I don't want to care. Because it's like this world, sick and twisted, had a sense of humor taking away each and every little thing I've ever truly cared for. "Rin, where's Len?"

"I don't damn know. Nor do I care." I reply stiffly as I opened my eyes staring out the window, feeling tenser than I could possibly be and I looked down clenching my jaw tightly. Gone. He's gone. That's what I wanted to say, but how can I say that without sounding upset and weak?

"He couldn't have just disappeared on you." I could hear the frown in Luka's voice and I clenched my jaw a little tighter.

"Yeah but then _you_ have a fucking talent for disappearing on people." I growl the words hoping to hurt her and she didn't give any sign of being hurt but I could all but sense her tensing up.

"I didn't want too, for God's sake Rin! You make it sound like I _chose_ to leave you alone!" Luka shouted making me twitch gently but I hugged my knees up to my chest tightly.

"You left with Meiko. That's all I need to know." I mumble but the words were loud in the car and I felt Luka's glare sear into me.

"I didn't leave with her by choice. Besides we were _together_ Rin, I couldn't let my fiancée-" Her words cut off suddenly and my eyes widened hugely, into what I think would be perfect circles. Fiancée? She was...going to marry Meiko? They were going to be married? I felt a strange press of tears against my eyes as I sat curled up when something wet _did_ drip to my knee and I realized, with mute horror, that I was crying. I was fucking _crying!_

"I see." I finally choke the two words out, grateful they didn't crack and give away my tears. God knows what would happen if Luka knew I was crying. Then she sighed loudly making me twitch lightly again.

"Rin. I know when you're upset, so there's no reason to keep to yourself." Luka sighed out her words like it was a chore or not something to be taken serious and I whipped around, my tears shooting through her air as I glare at her.

"Shut up! Stop talking like you know me now! Cause you don't! You don't understand one fucking _thing_ about me! I've been to _Hell and back_ for the past _five years!_ You don't have the damn right to tell me how to feel or act like a big sister! No damn right!" I scream at her, watching her immobile face as my tears dripped down crazily, landing on my collar bone, my shirt, my thighs, on the console of the car from where they'd sprayed through the air. But it was true. Luka had no right to act like she knew me, no right to act like a _sister_ to me.

"I'm sorry. I should've stayed and helped you Rin, I forced you to grow up so fast and so suddenly but there's no excuse for me not staying with you. None." Luka took her eyes off the road to look at me and she reached a hand out rubbing the wetness under my left eye making me blink quickly and I then quickly pulled away, recognizing it as the action she did when I was young and cried. She had another thing coming if she thought she could win me over with actions like _that._

"Just shut up." I mumble holding my knees to my chest again, my tears stopping finally and I rubbed at my eyes with the heels of my hands. Luka doesn't understand and I don't think she truly will. She's been somewhere else this entire time and I've been here still, she's done things I don't know about and I've done things she doesn't know of. She's had her experiences and I've had my own, making us different from one another.

"If it makes you feel better, even a smidgen, Kaito and Gakupo are out looking for Len. Meiko sent out all three of us to look for you, Miku, Len and Oliver. She's at home, with Lily, IA, Big Al, Gumi, Yukari, Sonika and little Yuuki." Luka said as her hands tightened on the wheel and she took a peek at me out of the corner of her eye to look at me again and I just looked away.

"What...What about Neru and Haku?" I tentavely asked looking down at my knees.

If I had to pick two elders I loved more than my main group of siblings (technically not related, save for Len) would definitely be, hands down, Neru and Haku. Neru was a total tsundere, I even pointed as much making her wake me, but she acted teenager always texting and whatnot even though no one knew her real age however, which was a bit weird but she always had a little smile for me when she saw me.

Haku, however, was a drunk but she was sweet about it and sometimes you couldn't even tell _when_ she was drunk but she was in love with Neru, Neru with Haku but the yellow haired Vocaloid wouldn't go for it but they were always together. I could seem them now, Neru texting away while snapping at Haku for her drinking and the silver haired Vocaloid just laughing as her face flushed with the alcohol consumption. They'd both, however, act mature when I walked in but I could always feel at peace and happy when I was between the two of them. Always.

"Rin? Did you hear me?" I blinked quick looking at Luka out of the corner of my eye before turning my head to hide the flush burning in my cheeks and shook my head. "I _said_ Neru and Haku are both at home with the others. They have been asking about you a whole lot over the years, constantly worrying over you when you weren't there etc etc." Now _that_ coaxed a little smile out of me as I hugged my knees tight.

"I see. How long til we get to "home" as you put it." I ask the question like she's slow, but like I'm pissed too, a right combo of both as I look out the window at everything speeding by quickly.

"It's in Colorado." Luka answered making me jerk up hard looking at her with wide eyes. Colorado? Colo- _fucking_ -rado?! "So that means me and you'll be on the road for some time. We can make it pleasant Rin, or you can make this uncomfortable and cold. But either way you'll have to suck it up and get used to me cause I'm not going anywhere and we have a long way ahead of us. Just remember that."

"Shut up." I mumble hugging my knees tighter hunching up in my seat looking out the window sulking and pouting lightly. I hope we can get there soon, I don't know how I'll react with Luka and I don't know how I'll be able to make it through this without losing my mind.


	3. Chapter 3

Thirty-nine hours. That's about two thousand seven hundred twenty five point nine miles, which would normally be a day to get to Colorado, but we're taking the long way around. Being in Pennsylvania-the last place we thought would truly be safe from the Infection- was a long as ways from Colorado but I guess Luka wanted to give me the long way. She wants to go through West Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, through Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Kansas and _then_ to Colorado. What the hell did she think this was going to be? A fucking tour?

"Do we _have_ to take the long way there?" I mumble under my breath for the first time in seven hours. The moon was out, shining softly in the sky which provided enough light, but I wasn't tired I was far from it and I was calculating how long it'd be to get into West Virginia. That's two whole fucking days, not to mention the pit stops we're going to have to make, getting food etc etc which will take us up to maybe a seven weeks, according to Luka.

"Yes. The short way is...Infested. I'd prefer not going that way, even if it's risky going the long way it's somewhat safer. Better to be safe than sorry. Not that you seem to give a damn." Luka added the last part under her breath in a huffing way making me glare at her out of the corner of my eye. If we're going to be together for seven weeks-which is forty-nine days! Ugh!- then I'll find other ways to keep myself busy.

"Whatever." I mumble again holding my legs to my chest despite the way they were throbbing ever so softly with cramps. I listened to Luka sigh out through her nose, the quiet buzz of her window rolling down and the wind whipping in filling the car with the whistling as we sped down the high way which sounded like a pleasant white noise in the background and I closed my eyes softly. I may not be tired, but I could use some more sleep after all I DID sleep seven hours ago and I didn't want to talk to Luka.

"Rin. Can't you be civil? Please? I'd love to talk with you, otherwise this way is going to be longer than it truly is." Luka sighed out as she sped up a bit then looked at the dashboard and I followed her gaze then grimaced. "Looks like we'll have to get more gas or we'll be walkin' it."

"Woah woah wait a minute! I am _not walking!_ " I snap at her widening my eyes in irritation but surprise. I was not going to walk! She's pretty damn funny if she thinks she can make me walk anywhere!

"We still have enough gas, but it won't last us long to go along the long route." Luka looked at me out of the corner of her eye, those light blue irises burning into me and I looked down. "If we walk then we walk, you'll just have to suck it up, princess." I tensed up instantly and throw a glare to her clenching my jaw.

"What the fuck does that mean, Luka." I snarl clenching my hands tight and Luka stomped hard on the gas making the car jerk to a holt with a screech of tires and my body swaying forward but I ignored it and was able to stay in place.

"It means I'm tired already of this goddamn stupid attitude of yours! Yes I was gone! Yes I chose to leave with Meiko! Yes you were alone for five years! Yes I'm selfish! Yes I'm a bitch! Yes I'm heartless! But for fuck's sake just shut up for once! Get rid of your stupid ass "little princess" act and grow the fuck up! You claim you grew up but you're still acting like _a spoiled selfish_ _ **PRINCESS!"**_ She screamed the words at me surprising me at her sudden burst of anger but staring in those infuriated eyes her anger leaked out to me and I clenched my hands tightly and shifted on my knee in my seat glaring.

"Well up fucking yours Luka! You and your stupid "mightier than thou" and your fucking "Oh I know what's best for you Rin!" act are sickening! You fucking disgust me and if I could be with anyone - _ **anyone!-**_ other than you I'd go with them! I _hate_ being with you! I don't want to be anywhere _near_ you! If anyone else came along I'd love to be with them over _you!_ " I screamed the words right back at her, my body trembling with just barely held back anger and God did I want to strike out and kick her ass so bad.

"You're the biggest fucking bitch in the world Rin Kagamine! I don't understand how Miku and fucking Len put up with you!" She screeched as her hands curled into fists like mine, her eyes livid but I could tell mine were just as livid as hers. I knew I was going to regret all this later, but if felt so damn _good_ to get it out as I glared at her.

"Right back at ya! You're a no good sister figure! Leaving behind a defenseless fifteen year old!" I scream my anger being fueled with her little dig against Len as I trembled with anger as I glared.

"You have _no right_ to speak to me like that!" Luka seethed glaring at me hotly so much so that in a regular time I'd be afraid but now, now it just fueled me further. "Len _never_ deserved to be stuck with _you!_ "

That did it. I lifted my hand and in a quick motion, slapped her a s hard as I truly and honestly could. I threw my whole body weight and all my muscle power into this slap and I was satisfied with the crisp sound of my hand smacking down on her cheek and her head snapping to the side with her eyes widening with surprise. I panted quietly through my nose, the breathes now being the loudest thing in the car as Luka raised a blue nailed hand up touching the pulsing red spot that resided now on her cheek. Her wide, light blue eyes moved up meeting my gaze as I sat there steel inside and out as her surprise shone out of her so bright I nearly cringed.

"Just drive, okay? I want to get somewhere close to a hotel or something." I suddenly mumble the words, my throat hoarse from screaming at her, my anger melting to a lethargic, tired feeling but her surprise still burned into me.

"Yeah. Okay." She said the two words-two!- like they were all she could manage and the car lurched forward gently and the hum of the engine filled the car with a peaceful rhythm. Is it possible to physically hate yourself? To physically miss someone though they're right next to you?

Well...now that it's quiet, I feel like a pretty big bitch for doing that but...Luka knows better than to drag Len into _any_ fight with me. I love Len; so does she. But she has _no right_ to drag Len into it when he wasn't even here. But with feeling so hatefully bitchy at myself, I felt so physically lonely that I want to reach out to Luka and apologize, that I was sorry that I slapped her and God knows I wanted to hug her tight; so our hips, thighs, stomach, chest, heads smooshed together so hard it was painful but only to make sure I was still here. With her. Not alone anymore but with _someone._

I looked at my knees as the car rocked my scrunched up body softly, the rhythm making my eyes droop softly when I more sensed than saw or felt Luka move reaching back and just as I was sure I'd doze off a sandwich was plopped on my knees and I sat up blinking lightly at it then looked at Luka eating her own. Her light blue eyes met mine again making guilt cramp in my stomach instantly but I was going to hold my ground. I always do.

"Eat. No point in starving yourself Rin, we'll be walking in a day or so, possibly even tonight. So eat while you can and drink some water, most of the food will have to be left behind but I got bags we can use to carry the amount we'll need but it won't last long." Luka was talking in a cold, indifferent was almost robotic and business like. Fine, two can play this game!

"'Kay. I understand. Is there a half way point with each place? Any way we could hot wire a car or something?" I ask using the same tone she used with me making her tense like I just struck her again and she sighed out.

"Yeah, maybe. " She mumbled looking straight and I felt the guilt cramping in my stomach again as I hugged my knees once more taking bites from the sandwhich.

Silence filled the car as I chewed and swallowed, the purr of the engine was so soothing and I felt the overwhelming urge to shut my eyes as I chewed but I didn't as I took another bite. Why do I mess things up? I am a pretty big big bitch, there's no way I can or could deny that, but I deserve to be this way right? I deserve to be at least a little hurt, right? Besides Luka left me! For Meiko! I finished eating before putting my head down shutting my eyes softly hugging my knees tightly. I deserve to be hurt.

She can be all irritated and hurt as much as she wants too, but I deserve to be equally offended and hurt. I deserve to at least act out hurt. I should be the one to put up so many distances-which I am- so, if any human alive could tell me or explain, why does it hurt so much to do this? Why does it hurt, to put the boundaries that I _**know**_ are needed. Nothing makes sense. Not me. Not the world. And certainly, not her.


End file.
